*Alex superliked me on Tinder 4 days ago (on Friday) and instantly sent me a Lord of the Rings gif once we matched. Anyone who knows me IRL, knows that Lord of the Rings is the way to my heart (it’s also referenced in my Tinder bio) so seeing a gif of Gimli immediately sparked my interest.
Alex and I proceeded to exchange more Lord of the Rings gifs and parody mind-numbing Tinder smalltalk– “where are you from?” “the weather has been so terrible lately…” “what do you do for work?” We quickly moved from messaging to texting (I usually suggest texting first because I hate constantly checking the Tinder app) and agreed to check in on Sunday (yesterday) about a potential coffee date today. Alex ended up texting me at 10pm last night, when I was out with Samuel, asking about coffee. I forgot to respond to his message until this morning.
Luckily, we both bent our schedules and meet up for a quick lunch at 1pm today at the Tender Greens on Fremont Street (this is becoming one of my go-to date spots, I’m beginning to realize…).
I scamper to the restaurant from my gym, a bit out of breath from my workout, trying to protect my hair from the torrential rain. I order a salad and a kombucha (yup) and sit down at a table with my food, praying to the Tinder Gods I’m not about to be catfished (again). A few minutes later, Alex walks in and I nervously jump up to hug him and say hi. The first thing I notice: he’s tall, maybe around 6’1 or 6’2. The second thing: he’s adorkable. We chat for a few seconds and I can instantly tell he’s nervous. He stammers a bit and definitely does not exude the charming confidence of a guy in his early 30s who’s been around the block a few times (i.e. Samuel last night).
Alex is 23, graduated last spring from a university in North Carolina, is originally from Seattle, lives in lower Pac Heights and works in finance. After he gets his food and sits down with me, he immediately apologizes for being (slightly) late and asks how long I’ve been waiting in the restaurant for him. He also apologizes for texting me late last night (at 10pm, when I was out and about) to make plans for today. He explains that he worked super late and was also at work this morning; such is the life of an entry-level banker, I soon learn.
We chitchat over our food and strike up an easy conversation. It’s not an alcohol-fueled, emotionally intimate conversation like the one I had last night, but it still feels nice. If Samuel were an afternoon spent playing board games (quick, intellectual, playful), Alex would be an afternoon snuggled up on a couch with a cozy blanket. He seems to have the disposition of a golden retriever (which is my favorite animal)– laid-back, smiley and quite optimistic, considering his 12+ hour-a-day work schedule. Alex and I exchange stories about our families– he has an older brother and sister, both live in Seattle, where his parents still reside. He mentions that neither he nor his older siblings have ever been in a real relationship, other than his brother, recently. His older brother is apparently a successful stockbroker/entrepreneur and dated a girl for 9 months. His older brother broke up with her because she was a (cute) sales clerk at Nordstrom; though she came from an upper-middle-class background, she lacked ambition and apparently her “perky personality” couldn’t reconcile that. Alex and I then chat about how we both value intelligence and ambition over most things, and he tells me about how his mom was a stay-at-home mom for a while, and is now the CEO of a nonprofit that provides afterschool care for children of low-income families.
I could throw in a few more anecdotes from our lunch, but I’d rather sum up this date and force myself to come to a conclusion: Alex was very nice. Spending time with him would be easy. He strikes me (based off my past experiences) as one of those guys who works such long hours that I would never really get to see him that much. He’s definitely self-motivated and checked his email a few times during our lunch date because taking a 2 hour lunch break is a big deal (regardless if it’s a national holiday or not). Alex also seemed very inexperienced– he was adorably nervous as we left Tender Greens and walked toward BART. He, similar to Samuel, didn’t quite know what to say. I think he muttered something like “So.. I’ll see you soon.. yeah” while giving me a nice bear hug goodbye. Being inexperienced isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it would require more effort (and probably patience) on my part, down the line. All in all, I think I’d like to see Alex again, if anything because he still has me won over with those LOTR gifs. He’s going away on a work trip for the rest of this week and we’ve already texted each other to mutually validate that we had a nice time. Perhaps I’m romanticizing the idea of having a golden retriever in human form or perhaps it’s just refreshing to meet another young, bright, innocent human. I don’t believe Alex has the capacity to manipulate me like Mark did… and that’s very appealing right now.
Themes and Lessons from this Chapter:
- Swipe right on the guy who Superlikes you, who’s “too close to my age” or “smiles too much in his pictures” because he might just be an adorkable guy with the spirit animal of a golden.
- Lunch dates are seriously underrated. Quick list of pros that I compiled: 1) you can actually hear what your date is saying, as opposed to in a packed bar 2) it’s way healthier and way better for your liver than 3 g&ts and 2 beers 3) you can actually see what the guy looks like– natural lighting = you can better inspect his face; lack of crowd = you can better size up his body 4) you don’t have to remotely worry about him propositioning you or trying to get you to go back with him.
One Hundred Frogs in San Francisco 